The Orange Cat in The Room: Garfield and Friends Part I

Jim Davis is a famous cartoonist, but few realize that he is a James A. Garfield expert, though he doesn't admit to it or return my phone calls. He publishes most of his work in that field of the 20th president in the comic strip Garfield, and to a lesser extent the TV show Garfield and Friends.

Davis wrote several comic strips and books about Garfield the cat but the most notable is the book Garfield: His 9 Lives. In this comic the cat, Garfield, comes into contact with an evil spirit that causes him to kill the old woman that owned him. Slaughtering his owner, he is given over to feelings of fear for tapping into some otherworldly force inside him.

What actually happened, as inferred from this story, James A. Garfield was actually killed later in a great struggle by otherworldly forces. The truth of these events is interpreted from the Jim Davis' collections, starting with Garfield at Large and ending with the His 9 Lives.

The story, an epic secret war against a confederation of the Southern Sympathizers of Andromeda and The Knights of the Golden Circle, led by Maximilian I of Mexico.

The Knights of the Golden Circle was founded by George W. L. Bickley, an Indiana doctor and weird guy, its primary goal was to establish a sovereign slave nation that would encompass southern slave states, Mexico, the Caribbean, and Central America. This slave empire would be referred to as the "Golden Circle" and be ruled over by the Emperor of the Mexican Empire, Maximilian I.

Ultimately, the KGC would dissolve in 1863 and Maximilian I would be executed by the Mexican Republic a few years later.

Or so the world thought...

In truth, the KCG would be contacted during the Civil War by a group of alien slaveholders, identified only as the Southern Sympathizers of Andromeda, or the SSA, from the galaxy Andromeda, the closest galaxy to Earth. During an attempt to build a device that would turn his urine into rue whiskey, George W. L. Bickley created a long-range micron telescope that would record and transmit the ideals of the KCG to the Andromeda galaxy, plus force him to drink large quantities of his urine. This led to first contact between humanity and alien species and an evil that threatened the universe.

During the Civil War, the organizations would join forces to undermine the union, an organization they would call the Golden Knights of Andromeda LTD., The GKA would export Civil War prisoners and slaves to work in the asteroid minefields, while funneling the profit back to Jefferson Davis, the Confederate president, though the Confederates were not a part of the KGC or the GKA.

The war would ultimately be lost and members of the KGC would flee to Andromeda with their remaining slaves, to leave on space plantations and drink space mint juleps, using Bickley's special reserve liquors from his automatic mint julep machine, which is similar to the device used in a colonoscopy, with a similar process.

Before leaving Earth, Emperor Maximilian I created a clone of himself to rule in his stead, knowing that the poor clone would be killed. Maximilian would be crowned the emperor of Andromeda, after merging himself with the previous emperor, creating a large wave of purple sentient slime that would devour all who opposed it.

Meanwhile on Earth...

After the Civil War, Garfield would go back to politics and the new ruler of a space empire would enslave Andromeda and bring a massive space armada to the outer rim of the Milky Way galaxy.

Its goal, a second American Civil War, but with aliens.

OH, and robots too, I forgot to mention that there are robot warlords.

And, cyborgs...


And ghost.

I Hate Mondays: The Real Story of President James A. Garfield's Assassination?

Many people believe that James A. Garfield, the 20th president not the cat, was shot by Charles J.
Guiteau at a train station in Washington D.C. on July 2, 1881. But is that what really happened?

The answer, in short, is yes.

But what most people don't know, because of learning disabilities, is that President Garfield would
live for over 11 weeks after being shot. What happened in those weeks and why did he end up dying? Some would argue that it is strange for a man to die so many months after a seemingly failed assassination attempt? And others would argue that my collector's edition Fraggle Rock lunch pals are overpriced on E bay? But those people are crazy!

The Smithsonian would like you to believe that he died of complications from the wound being infected but they are really stupid. The "curator" there was unable to answer the hard questions that I posed to him and instead had me banned and arrested for "public indecency." So, where outside the governmental circle can the answer be found?

The answer to my question can be found in an unlikely source, Garfield, the famous comic strip by cartoonist, and James A. Garfield expert, Jim Davis. I will show in my upcoming blog how these cartoons point to a conspiracy that not only transcends the government of the United States but of the realms of the Galaxy!


On a personal note, I would like to say that I very much enjoy the cartoon, Garfield and Friends, and in no way am slandering the show with the opening joke. My neighbor, whom steals my mail, asked me to include that.

Intermission

How are you enjoying the story? Its pretty great, I think at least? Anyway, has anyone ever built furniture before? I'm not planning on doing it but I just thought I would ask.
I would probably build like a table, that seems pretty easy to start with. Maybe a small coffee table. The only problem would be varnishing it, I don't really have a space for such activities. You know what, I talked myself out of it.

Hatchet Bowl Part 2

To make the game more interesting, each participant contributed two dollars to a general pool and the spectators would contribute one dollar, up to $500 according to Skeeter's memoirs. This collective "pot" was to be watched by the master of games, Skeeter of course.
The following day was used to set up the playing field and establish the teams. The grounds was marked off by wooden post driven into the earth 20 yards apart. The area of the field was so wide that people refused to try and clear the brush and cactus, which would ultimately be the downfall of the players.
The players totems of each team was set up 3 on one side and 3 on another and started the game the following dawn.
The date is not given for the start of the game but it is assumed that it was possibly late fall. Skeeter stated that it was a fairly warm day in his book, according to accounts from townspeople. Players gathered around dawn for the opening ceremony by the town prostitutes and the mayor, Sandy Williamson, the owner of the local tavern and other businesses.
The ceremony end around noon and the game started, each team then proceed to their teams totems on foot, as that was one of the rules, no horses or carts once the game started. Spectators were not allowed to go into the game area but could travel by horse or cart around the perimeter.  The officials judging the games would follow each team to their collective totems in order to judge the game but were not allowed to use horses, as they could give away each teams position.
The first day came and passed, with no one reporting any officials returning to signal the end of the game. As night set all the spectators would return to their respective homes for dinner and sleep. But no one from the game would return to town that night.
The following morning people would awake to a shocking sight of a hard steady snowfall that had apparently began late in the night.
The townspeople traveled in mass to the game site, but due to the snow flurries, could not find the boundaries and spent the entire day looking for them before heading back to the local tavern to take shelter from the cold and freezing winds. Upon returning, they noticed that Skeeter McCullough was not present in town and had not been seen all day. Many assumed that he had joined the teams on the field and no one would see him until his trial.
The snow would last for 4 days with no sign of the participants and officials, especially Skeeter. After the snow stopped on the fifth day and the sun broke through the clouds and people would form search parties for the teams involved, mostly to see who had won.
It took two days to locate all the players and judges but each site was described as the same, a cannibalistic slaughter.
Apparently due to the fact that none of the teams brought supplies for the day, as it was assumed that the game would be finished in a few hours, they had at some point turned on each other for food and shelter, according to reports of a frozen corpse sheltered inside of another corpse.
The search never found Skeeter McCullough, and upon returning to town, they found his cabin abandoned and the money for the winners of the game gone.
Skeeter would be arrested in the Oklahoma Territory trying to sell stole belongs of the town folks of  Cheater's Berg. He would be sent back to Arizona and tried, convicted and sentenced to death.

Hatchet Bowl Part 1

In the provinces of Canada, Skeeter McCullough's parents, whom were both Irish Immigrants and go unnamed in his book "On Occurrences in the Territories and Near My Cabin"  gave birth to Skeeter in 1819 in Trapper's Outpost, a remote trading outpost in the greater Canadian wilds. His mother was a professional fur trapper and his father was an alcoholic prostitute at the local far trading post. Skeeter was never formally educated but claimed to have been educated but claimed in his book to have learned many "skills" from his upbringing at a trading post.

The Story of Skeeter McCullough

In the 1850's, the exact date is not recorded, a man named Skeeter McCullough created a game that would span a whole square mile across the territories. As the only chronicler, and survivor of the game, Skeeter would go on to record the game in his book "On Occurrences in the Territories and Near My Cabin" before his execution at the hands of territorial authorities in Arizona.
His book would be burned by locals as containing evil spells and witchcraft. A sole copy managed to be smuggled from the fire and from that comes the story of a game that was created and disbanded in the same week.
The game "Hatchet Bowl".

Introduction

Hello,

My name is Nicholas Johnson and my blog site is an introduction to the rare events that have transpired in the history of America...besides all the awful stuff.
And if anyone owns a Toyota Camry...you left your interior lights on. Once again, Toyota Camry, interior lights are on...and history as well.